....... If we love our children .......: 08/2013

8/30/2013

Teaching Your Kids Correctly

The Lord gives mothers and fathers unique opportunities to teach their children about godly living. Through their parents’ lifestyle and instruction, kids can discover personal accountability to God.

A. Role Models

As parents, we’re always teaching our children something. Whether we respond correctly or incorrectly to situations, they are watching and learning. If you ever doubt the influence you have on your child, observe the ways in which he or she imitates you.

What kind of actions, attitudes, and beliefs do you see your children imitating?

Read Deuteronomy 6:1-9.

What command does Moses relay from God to the Israelites (Deut. 6:4-5)?
What does it mean to love the Lord in this way?
In your own words, when were Israelite parents to instruct their children about God (Deut. 6:6-9)? Describe the times such instruction should take place in modern culture.

The Lord makes fathers and mothers responsible for teaching their children spiritual principles. Oftentimes, young people rebel against authority because their parents have failed to learn His Word and instruct their children in it.

Did your parents ever teach you the Bible or share something that God had taught them?
What difference did that instruction make in your life?

B. The Proper Attitude

Teaching children about the Lord demands great patience, understanding, love, forgiveness, and wisdom. You must maintain good communication with them. Then, when your kids make poor decisions, remember the grace that God has granted you, and give the same to your sons and daughters.

Read the account of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32.

How does the father in this story symbolize God’s response toward us?
How can you reflect this same attitude toward your children?

There are many biblical principles that your children should know before they leave your home. Here are a few:

The reliability of Scripture
The gospel message and the process of evangelism
The principles of forgiveness
Their identity in Christ
The ministry of the Holy Spirit in their lives
The basics of effective prayer
God’s faithfulness in all of life’s challenges
The principle of sowing and reaping
Godly stewardship of their time, skills, money and other resources
Their responsibility and accountability to God

The best way to know how to communicate these principles to your children is to learn and apply them in your own life.

C. Children Are Responsible and Accountable to God

For the purpose of this study, let’s focus on one particular concept. We need to guide our children to recognize and respect God as the ultimate authority in their lives.

Summarize the truth found in Romans 14:10-12 and 2 Corinthians 5:10.

As parents, we are our children’s God-given instructors and authority figures only for a season. Ultimately, they are responsible to the Lord for their actions and attitudes.

Why is it important to begin teaching your children to transfer their feelings of responsibility from you to God while they are young?
How might this principle impact your children’s behavior when they are teenagers?

D.Three Steps to Help Kids Be Accountable to God

Allow your children to set some of the standards and parameters for their responsibilities. If they are old enough, ask them to prayerfully consider how they should help around the house, or what time their curfew should be. Encourage them to consult the Lord and make decisions based on His leading. Of course, you will still need to enforce the rules when they disobey.

What are some of the benefits to this suggestion? What are some drawbacks?
Is this a suggestion you feel comfortable implementing? Why or why not?
In what small area could you give your children more say in deciding rules and responsibilities?

Allow them to follow through with the standards and parameters they have set. Sometimes you need to let children make an unwise decision. Of course, if they suggest something ridiculous, you will have to intervene. But you should let your kids experience some consequences in order to mature.

Did your parents let you make mistakes, or did they rescue you? What effect do you think that has had on your confidence and willingness to take risks as an adult?

Most importantly, you must live in a way that reflects your own responsibility and accountability to God. Your children notice when you gossip about a family member or brag about avoiding a speeding ticket. As parents, we must demonstrate lifestyles of accountability to the Lord even in small things. Otherwise, this principle will be meaningless to our children.

Evaluate your life. Are you setting a good example for your children by acknowledging your accountability to God? What areas could use some improvement?

Closing: We are all accountable and responsible to the Lord. Determine to model and teach these truths to your kids. If you actively instruct your sons and daughters, you will be taking powerful steps to safeguard them from rebellion and disillusionment later in life.

Prayer: Father, please give parents the strength and wisdom to model a godly lifestyle. Empower them to fulfill their responsibilities of learning Your Word and teaching it to their children. May hurting families become healthy and happy for Your glory. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

10 Things to Pray for Your Children

"The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."—James 5:16

Do we pray for anything more fervently, more diligently, or more desperately than we do for our children? Can anything evoke that same level of passion as praying for their salvation, well-being, and character? But beyond "Lord, keep her safe," "Help him to stay out of trouble," and "Dear Father, make me a saner parent today," what are some of the petitions we should be lifting up to our heavenly Father on behalf of the children He's given us?

Here are a few suggestions:

For godly wisdom. First Corinthians 3:19 tells us, "The wisdom of this world is foolishness before God," and Romans 12:2 instructs, "Do not be conformed to this world." Pray that your child will have godly—not worldly—wisdom. James 1:5 promises, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." Ask for your children to receive that liberal application of godly wisdom.

For character. This is not an easy prayer for parents, since we all know how character is developed—through trial. In fact, Romans 5:3-4 says, "We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope." As hard as it is to pray for trouble in our children's lives, we know that challenges, disappointments, and even heartache are what will help them grow into the godly men and women they were created to be. So brace yourself, pray for character, and—while you're at it—ask for a healthy dose of self-control on your part to stay out of God's way while He's at work in your kids' lives.

For a spirit of excellence. Daniel 6:3 (nkjv) says, "Daniel distinguished himself above the governors and satraps because an excellent spirit was in him." And 1 Corinthians 10:31 instructs, "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." Pray that your children will give their best to everything they attempt, because if they're Christians, they place His name on whatever they do.

For humility. We live in a world that frequently admires pride, arrogance, and self-righteousness. Yet James 4:6 tells us that "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble." And in Matthew 23:12, Jesus promised, "Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted." Pray that your children will appreciate their infinite worth as children of God but, at the same time, will recognize that God expects them to walk with Him—and their fellow man—in meekness and humility.

For a desire to know God. You pray he'll make the team. You pray she'll pass the test. But is there anything we can ask for our children that will offer them more happiness, fulfillment, and success than a personal, intimate relationship with their Creator? Ezra 8:22 tells us, "The hand of our God is favorably disposed to all those who seek Him," and Psalm 86:11 implores, "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name" (niv). Pray that your child will have a hunger and thirst to know God more every day—and an undivided heart to seek and serve Him with abandon.

For direction. Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." AndEphesians 2:10 says, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." Pray that your children will learn at a young age to seek God's direction and guidance in all things, so by the time they make the big decisions—like college, career, and marriage—they'll be in the habit of following His perfect plan every step of the way.

For favor. In chapter two of the book of Esther, many young women were brought into the palace to be prepared and presented as potential brides before King Ahasuerus. Verses 8 and 9 tell us that from the moment Esther arrived, she found favor with all who saw her. (The king made her queen, which put her in the perfect position to save her people from annihilation.) Luke's gospel tells us that Jesus grew in favor with God and man (2:52 niv). There's nothing wrong with praying that your children will have favor with teachers, school administrators, coaches, and eventually employers—as well as with classmates, teammates, and coworkers—and that they'll be liked and appreciated for who they are.

For discernment. In 1 Kings 3:5, God gave King Solomon an open invitation to ask for anything he wanted. Solomon requested a heart to discern good from evil in order to judge God's people, and the Lord was so pleased that He showered the ruler with riches and honor, elevating him beyond all of his contemporaries—and blessed him with a long, healthy life to boot. Pray for this same kind of discernment for your children: ask God to let them see as He sees, be attracted to what pleases and glorifies Him, be repelled by the things that displease him, and understand the difference clearly and consistently.

For the right friends/spouse. The Bible is clear on what type of person a believer should marry—another believer. Second Corinthians 6:14 warns, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers." Pray that your children will value God-fearing friends, that the Father will "pave" their way with faithful Christians, and that they'll eventually find their way to godly mates, as the Lord intends. Also pray for their future spouses' upbringing. When my four kids were tiny, an older, much wiser Christian woman encouraged me to start praying for the men and women they would marry some day. Pray that your future sons- and daughters-in-law will keep themselves pure for marriage, that their parents will create a godly environment in which to raise them, that they'll understand the Lord's perfect plan for marriage and for their lives, and that they'll grow into the man or woman God designed each one to be. After all, they'll be raising your beloved grandchildren some day.

For respect toward authority. If this generation had a slogan, it would be "No fear!" Our children are conditioned by TV, movies, and songs not to respect parents, teachers, school administrators, police officers, or government officials—rude is cool. Yet Romans 13:1 tells us, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established" (niv). Pray that your kids will have proper respect for everyone from the president to the boss at their part-time job, and appropriate fear toward God.

It's never too late to pray for your children. Whether you're in the footie-jammies-and-sippy-cup phase or your world is filled with prom dresses and drivers' permits—or you're praying for kids who have kids of their own—remember that Philippians 4:6 (niv) tells us parents, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

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Prayer

Why pray? What is prayer for?

Will God help me know what to do in my situation?

How can I pray effectively?

How do I pray effectively for others?

How do I know if I am hearing God?

Can I know God's will?

How do I talk with God?

Resources about prayer and having a quiet time

Verses

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."
Matthew 7:7-8

"And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."
Matthew 21:22

"This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."
1 John 5:14-15

"Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you."
Jeremiah 29:12

"It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear."
Isaiah 65:24

"You will pray to Him, and He will hear you; and you will pay your vows."
Job 22:27

"In that day you will not question Me about anything. Truly, truly, I say to you, if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you. Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full."
John 16:23-24

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."
James 5:16

"Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it."
John 14:13-14

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."
John 15:7

"But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."
Matthew 6:6

"Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me."
Psalm 50:15

"Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; You will cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.'"
Isaiah 58:9

"The LORD is far from the wicked, but He hears the prayer of the righteous."
Proverbs 15:29

"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him."
Psalm 91:15

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"
Matthew 7:11

"The righteous cry, and the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
Psalm 34:17

"Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice."
Psalm 55:17

"The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them."
Psalm 145:18-19

"So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."
Matthew 6:8

"Whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight."
1 John 3:22

"Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know."
Jeremiah 33:3

"Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you."
Mark 11:24

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